


The Lights Are Off

by ekzxo (2870)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Breaking Up & Making Up, Comfort/Angst, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, One-Sided Relationship, Open Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:33:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24009658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2870/pseuds/ekzxo
Summary: Sehun is single for the first time in six years. He lives with it. Until it occurs to him, he would rather have Jongin in any way he can.
Relationships: Kim Jongin | Kai/Oh Sehun
Comments: 8
Kudos: 47
Collections: Challenge #1 — Beginning





	The Lights Are Off

**Author's Note:**

> A goal of mine is to participate in all the tinysparks! I will be here from the beginning with this first beginning theme!

Six years into their relationship, Sehun realizes he can no longer stomach the mechanics of this relationship. After countless attempts to brush the tiny specks of dust off his shoulder and the restless thinking, Sehun finds himself no longer happy. 

Breaking it to Jongin hurts, not because Sehun is deciding to leave and separate the two, but because Jongin is nonchalant of the whole ordeal. 

Jongin nods. He just nods when Sehun says he can’t do it anymore. He opens the door to their bedroom and sits on the edge of the bed, urging Sehun with motion of his chin to pack his items. There’s nothing but a stoic expression on Jongin’s face as he props his elbows onto his knees and drops his mouth in his hands.

Sehun faces his back to Jongin as he calmly folds all of his clothing into a suitcase and a few boxes he’s already prepared a week ago. A long month of heavy thinking led him to buy cardboard boxes because he knew that it would be best for him to leave immediately. It’s why he’s also told his close friend that he’d be staying around for a bit. He has somewhere to stay, but it doesn’t hurt less knowing that Jongin doesn’t ask where he’ll go after this. 

“I’ll see you when I see you?” Sehun says clearly, satisfied without a trace of sadness. 

Jongin leaves the bedroom first. Sehun meets him shortly after having one more scan around the bedroom. He lets Jongin keep the photo of them on their nightstand, hopefully as a deeper, darker meaning for Jongin to dwell on in despair. Then he finds Jongin pacing circles by the door. 

“Tell me, is this just a break or do you expect me to fight for you? To win you over and leave everything that I am?”

Sehun clutches the suitcase handle roughly and responds, “I’m leaving for good because I can’t be a part of something like this anymore. It doesn’t mean I’m expecting you to change. I know you don’t want to settle down with me. I want to end it. Don’t want to be involved.”

Jongin chuckles and Sehun can’t decipher whether it comes from relief or bitterness. 

“Just give me a goodbye kiss and we’ll call it a day?”

Sehun kisses him shortly; doesn’t lean in because he doesn’t want Jongin’s support, doesn’t slip his tongue past Jongin’s eager, parting lips. 

Much to Sehun’s surprise, Baekhyun greets him with open arms and a full course meal. 

Sehun doesn’t say much as he eats everything Baekhyun offers. He lays on the couch across Baekhyun’s bed because his friend lives in a loft apartment without rooms. Sehun keeps that familiarity of sleeping in the same room with someone. He wouldn’t be ready to sleep alone. Before he shuts his eyes, he deletes Jongin’s message telling him goodnight, along with their entire chat they’ve worked up for the last six years. 

Being single for the first time in many years is certainly a foreign feeling. He doesn’t kiss anyone goodbye. He doesn’t hold anyone to sleep. He doesn’t remind anyone to eat (besides when he offers Baekhyun some leftovers that he bought during lunch, then again it’s not the same feeling). He doesn’t get to come home to someone he loves so dearly, so close to his heart. 

Sehun’s chest aches, something constricts his heart and swallowing becomes a struggle, at the thought of Jongin having someone — as always. 

What feared Sehun most was knowing that Jongin wouldn’t move on so fast and that’s because he _never_ had to move on at all. He wouldn’t (doesn’t) miss Sehun the way Sehun misses him because he’s never loved Sehun the way Sehun loves him. 

The pain of being away from Jongin hurts more than sitting in bed as Jongin shares his date night stories, or having Jongin shove his phone in Sehun’s face with, _she’s cute right? I should go for it, shouldn’t I?_

Sehun thought it was supposed to be refreshing. He wouldn’t feel suffocated or _suffocating_. This isn’t what he imagined being single to be like. 

It’s just the beginning Sehun reminds himself. Pain will fade into memories just like everything that Jongin will become, too. 

Barely a month goes by and Sehun rolls his suitcase onto the familiar yard. He gives it a careful knock and puts up a warm smile. He doesn’t have time to second guess things because the front door opens with a different kind of looking Jongin. 

“Hi,” Sehun greets with friendliness. 

Jongin nods. “Hello,” he says with his voice thick and warm like dripping, sweet honey. 

Sehun misses it deeply and wants nothing more than for it to be flush against his ear. 

“Can I come back to you?” Sehun looks away, feeling tears welling up at the corners of his eyes. “I don’t care what the circumstances are. I just want you.” 

Jongin swings the door enough to let Sehun in. Everything looks the same, if not messier. There’s photo albums strewn across the coffee table.

“It’s not the same without you. I couldn’t tell anyone about the problems I was having with Chanyeol. I couldn’t laugh with anyone on how last week's pick up puked on my dick. I couldn’t have your shoulder to cry onto about you because you’re who left.”

“I don’t understand,” Sehun says apprehensively. 

“Being in other relationships don't mean anything if there’s nobody to share them with. I don’t want anybody else if you aren’t around. I don’t think I want anybody at all in the way I want you.”

It all clicks when Sehun looks deeply into the love of his life and finds him terribly unkempt, slouching unshaven with fluffy, disheveled hair in their matching pajama set.

“You want me the way I want you?” Sehun utters in disbelief.

“All I need is you, Sehun. I’m done with everything else.”

It’s the beginning of Sehun and Jongin, just being Sehun and Jongin. 

  
  



End file.
